once I asked my English teacher if teachers shipped their students and after explaining what shipping meant she told me that that is literally one of the most popular discussions in the staff room
I had an English teacher who thought these two students were nice together, so she made them partners on a project.
They got married.
"…every six months."
how to piss someone off:
leave the door open
its been 12 years since shrek came out and im still having trouble coping with the fact that donkey fucked a dragon
Last night, I played with an Ouija board. I asked if anyone wanted to communicate but I only got a feeling of being watched. After putting the board away, thinking “This is complete bullshit”, I took this selfie. I haven’t looked at it until a few minutes ago but when I looked closer, I could see an apparition. I know its a bit difficult to see in the lighting but I circled it in red so you know where to look. I hope the spirit is not angry with me and goes away soon.
science fiction was invented by a woman
don’t you ever fucking forget that
actually a teenage girl
a teenage girl who ran off with a married man
the worst thing about speaking two languages is trying to use an expression from one language that fits perfectly into your conversation but the other person won’t get it
Benedict the chameleon.
So when we first started dating more than a decade ago, Sarah and I had to hand out Halloween candy at her boss’s house, and because her boss lived in a very fancy neighborhood, there were a lot of fancy Halloween costumes.
And one kid—maybe eight years old—came dressed…
This holiday season give her the gift she’ll cherish forever.
So I was at Target with my dad when I wondered around and saw this…
Its Ryan Fucking Gosling on a Diary … It even says stuff inside it
IT GETS BETTER
THIS DIARY ACTUALLY WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU AND HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAY.
IT ALSO GIVES YOU ITS OWN BUBBLE TO WRITE YOUR OWN COMPLIMENT YO YOURSELF.
nO WAIT THIS ISN’T WHAT I ASKED FOR KEVIN WAS NEVER AN OPTION
why is it so hard to get how awful you are when you refuse to apologize?
YOU DIDN’T MEAN TO HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T GO TO JAIL FOR MANSLAUGHTER
If you accidentally step on some one’s toes, you apologize. It’s just common sense - you obviously didn’t stomp on their toes on purpose, but you HURT THEM regardless. The same courtesy should be there when you accidentally hurt some one emotionally, too. You didn’t mean to, but that doesn’t change what happened. Apologize sincerely, make an effort to never do it again, and do NOT continue to sit there repeating “but I didn’t mean to” over and over again. They know that, but their toes still fucking hurt.